Saturday, October 27, 2007



I'm Sleepy

I was originally working on some of my AP chemistry formal lab report, but I figured I'd take a break and write a well-needed blog entry! I also figured since today is a special boy's birthday, I'd write an entry on that day for him. :]

Well, I loved my last blog entry. I guess I felt it was good enough to withstand more than a week without any following entries for a while. ;P However, a lot has happened since then in a way, so I suppose I can summarize a bit in this entry. Maybe tell a few stories, wish a few happy birthdays, y'know the drill. ;)

Last weekend I took the PSAT test offered at my high school. I had to wake up early like a school morning, which is always a little rough when you like to sleep in. xD Then I believe I did some shopping which was fun. I can't really remember what else I did...hmm. :P

Anywho, school has been going very well, although very busy. I'm in for a long hard school year, but that's alright. As long as I have some close friends to make me smile everyday than everything will be alright. ;)

I was up all night yesterday at a campout sort of party with roughly sixteen teenagers, probably some of the best teenagers in the entire school for that matter. ;] I tried to count everybody, but I may have missed a head or two. :P I thought it was pretty fun and really interesting. (: I have to say I love the group of people I associate myself with at school. Such good people in every way. :]

It was really crowded, but I think that makes things more fun when everybody is squished in a room. :P The night was spent just fooling around, talking, laughing, and doing random stuff. Sometime after 1 or 2 in the morning we kept calling up the guy on the radio station where everybody was sort of yelling/asking random stuff. That was actually probably one of the funniest things that happened, since the guy actually spoke back until he couldn't take it anymore around the 16th call. xD

A little later on there was definately what I'm calling "The Shaving Cream" fight. A few people were sleeping, and I'll never know how they could have been. xD Of course my friends Abby and Nicole were the suppliers. They brought all sorts of random items and the shaving cream was the most popular. xD It started off with a few random squirts at a select few people, but then those people got mad and just attacked and before I knew it shaving cream was alllll over the walls of the room and furniture, and my friends were covered in shaving cream. In their hair and face, in their mouths, like, woah. xD My friend Abby literally had to try to take a shower, she just soaked herself. :P It was really fun though. :P I maybe slept for a half hour, but I figured there'd be no point so I wanted to wait until I got home to sleep. Abby, Nicole, me and the foreign exchange girl who came (who also by the way is so awesome) were the only ones up around 6-7ish, and we just layed around and watched everyone else sleep. :P I'm tired now so probably right after this entry I'm going to go sleep again. xD

I just took a moment and found that last year on Steve's birthday I wrote a blog entry toooo! How especially cool. :) In that entry I also wrote about taking the PSATs, haha wow. As well as drama, which unfortunately is on like "hiatus" until future notice this year. :P I like looking at my old entries.. Anyways, today is Buddy Foote's 17th birthdaaaay! And he deserves the best, because he's such a great kid. :]

Radically Random...



Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Her Name Was Thumbelina: a Gripping Tale of the Inner Workings of a Sinner’s Heart


Her Name Was Thumbelina: a Gripping Tale of the Inner Workings of a Sinner’s Heart


and this was found in the ventilation shaft. Evidence seems to point to the landlord hiding it there wanting to avoid an investigation on the suicide of one nobody and the coinciding murder of another nobody. It shall be known that while these people, and dare I say, souls, were lost at the time, any one of us could have seen the signs and prevented the tragedy from taking hold and forcing innocence to submit to the immoral impulses of lust, substance abuse, and the most counter of cultures. The diary reads as follows.


December 1st, 2005


My name is Chester. I have decided earlier today to purchase a blank book on which to spill my soul. It will be my dieing wish that this book be burned when I am through with it. My life would make even Poe ask for a tissue. I was born at Mercy, though I was never shown any my whole life. The hospital must have been upon a slope. Because I’ve been downhill destined since I emerged from the womb.


My mom was never there. That’s because she tried to bite the bullet as it entered her skull. You see, my mom killed herself when I was 7. I remember because it was my birthday. The last gift my mom gave me had a pulse. It was a dog. I gave him the name Buddy. We never got along. Later that day my mom went up to the attic, after a prolonged fight with my ever-intoxicated father, it was there that she took the gun, and took her life. I made that dog pay for as long as the memory hurt. That is around when I felt my soul falling into an abyss and it was no turning back.


After dropping into the sewer of society upon dropping out of high school and dropping my father’s cold casket into its grave, I needed something. My new father was not a man at all, but a syringe filled with the tears of a generation. My addiction grew more and more each day. I’d quiver if I went more than a day without seeing my dad. My apartment was nothing special, it suited me well. My job was mediocre, so I usually had little problem supporting my habit.


I see the sun peeking now. This apartment complex is so dead; I wish I could join it, but for now I’ll pretend. I will hit the needle like a vinyl to be played. It is then that I will sleep, only to wake to tomorrow’s pain. Goodnight, I know it won’t be a good morning.


…when we walked in we found another book, this one with a woman’s writing. A few feet across the room was a woman, fairly pretty, but scared. Not scared physically, but you saw pain, even in her cold, dead grimace.


July 18th 2005


My name is Thumbelina. I found my old unused diary from when I was 13. I think I’ll begin to fill it up again. Well things have been going slowly down hill for me since I was 13. I had to drop out of med school; I just couldn’t keep my grades up. I decided to stay out of my parent’s home though. I found an unimpressive apartment but it’s the best I can afford. My job at the bar can’t cover much. I think I’m gonna wrap it up for now, but don’t worry, I’ll write more tomorrow!


...it seems like there might have been a struggle, I heard Bill say the boy had scratches on his neck. You hate to see them die so young…


August 23rd 2005


Sorry Diary! It’s been way more than a month. A lot has happened! I went out last night and met this guy Peter. He is the most handsome man I have ever seen. Dimples, powder blue eyes, wavy blonde hair, what more could I have asked for? I don’t want to rush this though. I think he might be the one. I vow not to write again until him and I make love for the first time.


August 24th 2005


I didn’t want to, Peter made me. I told him no but he wouldn’t stop. I feel weak, less than human. This isn’t how I wanted it to happen. I can’t believe I let my guard down. I know how to get over this. I’m gonna go out tonight. I will rule these streets. I will show that I have to power to initiate this kind of act, and to top it off I’ll get paid for it. I’m going to put on my white dress, and tonight it is going to get dirty.


October 7th 2005


It’s been awhile, but I still feel weak. I have some spare money now though, for the first time. I haven’t seen Peter since that night, except for when I close my eyes. It is then that I see his portrait upon my eyelids. I saw a boy named Anthony tonight, he left and in his place he seemed to have forgotten a needle. I know I shouldn’t, but I so badly want to. My body has seen much, but this, no this is more. This might make it all go away…


…this poor girl, she might have avoided this if she stayed in college, or if she stayed away from that boy. Speaking of which, I find myself curious as to what Ted is finding out in the boy’s room…


“It’s a shame. He’s my daughter’s age.” said Ted. “Look at what he wrote on the 5th.


December 5th 2005


They say when you meet the love of your life, time goes slow. They also say that when you see a train wreck, time goes slow. My love is a train wreck. If only she hadn’t left my heart so mangled, the heroine should heal that anytime soon though. I was driving my rusted chariot downtown when I saw her. Her hair, her eyes, her black dress, her shoes, that girl was on fire, and the smoke filled my lungs. I told her how I longed to find myself looking down at her while my mattress filled as a background. She helped herself into my car and we drove to my house. Then we loved. We loved everywhere. I felt like I never needed to be with another. I saw her scarred smile, and I smiled. We stuck needles in each other’s, and then loved some more. Her sandpaper skin cut me deeper and deeper than any needle could, I felt like I could stop how my life was going and start it all over with her. It was as though we loved all over creation.


Now she is sleeping, I believe I will join her. This thought seems to foreshadow our futures oddly. I’m not sure how…


December 5th 2005


I decided to bring my book with me tonight. This very odd person picked me up tonight. He seemed desperate for love, like a hurt child. He was the most focused lover I had ever had before though, it was mediocre to me. Then he tried talking to me, it was so boring I fell asleep. I just woke up and I’m not leaving until he pays me. I suppose I will just drift back to sleep now, he isn’t showing any signs of waking.


“What a shame” I said to Bill


“Maybe if they had different circumstances, they might have known real love” Bill said back. “Ted, I’ve read enough.”


But I had to read more…


December 6th 2005


I have woken up to the sundown. I have extinguished the light of my world. Thumbelina was not pure, she wanted money. It was as if someone took my heart, and sacrificed it to her, the goddess of lust. I told her that I could give her anything she wanted, she said all she wanted was money. She raised her arm to strike me, but I grabbed her at the wrist. I would make her mine again. It was after I did that, I realized the terrible thing I had done. She was crying and just demanded money. It was like the money made her feel powerful, like the spoils for the actions her body committed. She tried to run, so I followed her. I needed one last kiss. We arrived at her apartment, incidentally, in the same complex! She tried to fight me off and scratched my neck. I shook her so hard that her head went back, and she was no more. I laid her down and got my kiss. I returned to my room. I have done too much. I cannot be allowed to live. If I am caught, they will kill me. I don’t know what to do. My mind is racing now. I’m sweating. I smell of death. I shoot myself full with a needle and begin to contemplate shooting myself. I picked up the gun, and now it is held to my head. I’m going to join you in your sleep. Her name was Thumbelina, and I loved her to death.


it was then that the writing stopped and I knew the truth. To honor the dead, I took the book and burned it.

Monday, October 22, 2007

You know how I do

Hello! It has been an awefully long time since I’ve posted and I’m gonna start posting more and more now. I’m working on getting an avatar too, for now Caitlin will make one.


Anyways my next entry is going to be a story I wrote for English class but was turned down for being “mildly inappropriate”, I think she said mildly, im pretty sure she didn’t say wildly. Well just to let you know im in know way supporting anything in the story. On that note, bye!


So sick so sick of being tired

And oh so tired of being sick!



Sincerely with love,

Joey

Tuesday, October 16, 2007



Slacking?

Besides slacking highly on writing here at the blog (this is my first blog entry in October -- hurray!), I sense that I may also be slacking in school. My grades are not dropping (yet), but my motivation toward school seems to be altering slightly toward a more carefree perspective. I'm not sure if this is a good thing, as I seem to feel quite uncomfortable when I'm not sitting around stressing over exams and homework like I did in the past, but God does it feel good to just sit around, relax, or possibly hang out with friends online or through phone conversations. I feel like I can do normal teenager events while sustaining my grades at school, yet something doesn't seem right. I think the fact that I dropped anatomy in school greatly contributed to this new way of life. Not only do I not have to stress out over the homework, tests, and challenging material such as dissecting that the class presents, but I have a study hall now everyday where I can get homework and studying done. The thing that doesn't feel right is that, lately, in this study hall I haven't been taking advantage of it other than progressing further in the book that I'm reading -- Eragon. Maybe it's because of the sudden lack of work that has fallen upon me, but I'm sure that a big boom (saying such was inspired by one of Jonathan Coulton's songs) will be occurring soon enough. This week I have a history quiz, psychology test, history test, a Spanish skit to perform, and a math quiz and I just feel very carefree right now. If you were to rewind a few weeks back, I would be studying for 3/4 of those tests right now.

And really, I think I should still be that way. I'm running into exams blind, rushing through homework almost carelessly for no reason, and I study a lot less, and so far I seem to be doing okay with grades. However I guess I'll see the ultimate consequences of this system after I receive the grades of the exams that I will be taking later on this week. Even if they're in the lower 90's, which would be an amazing grade for many individuals, I would probably force myself to get back into gear. Maybe you can call me a perfectionist when it comes to getting grades (however I'm far from it in many other departments of life), but I really feel down in the dumps when I got about an 88 or lower. Thankfully it rarely happens, and I'm able to "hammer" out the answers on most tests and receive grades of 97+. But like I was saying, with this carefree attitude, it's hard to hammer answers on a test. Well, not hard, but it takes more thinking than usual. Normally, if I prepared well for a test, I see the question and it translates to me, "What are the first three letters of the alphabet?" and as easily and fast as you may answer that, I have the question on the test answered and moving on to the next one. But lately I see the question for how it is, and it involves headaches to go through a whole set of them.

Don't even get me started on AP Chemistry. That class is stress, stress, stress. Thankfully he wasn't here yesterday and we got no homework today, so I really had nothing to worry about at home revolving around that subject. However I feel this big boom coming, fast. Things are going to start piling up starting tomorrow -- I feel it in my blood. We're starting something new in chem so we'll get homework on top of an already started lab, we just finished going over the history of the medieval ages in English so we'll probably have to start reading passages and answering questions, and math and Spanish will resume throwing homework at us, and add the exams I already know about as well as ones that'll sneak into the schedule and this carefree attitude will go out the window. I just hope I have an easy time adjusting to the sudden change.

Well, I have to actually go now and review for that history quiz, but I expect to actually write more during the week regardless of homework and tests, even if it's a teeny little passage. I just need to post more! And if you're wondering about the lack of pictures/captions, it's just to conserve time in the writing of my blog and mostly you may only see pictures during the weekend when I have more time to blow off.

Have a good one.

Saturday, October 13, 2007



Anne Frank

This lovely care-free week that just ended alotted for plenty of free time after school where I had some moments to think and most importantly, pick back up on some leisure reading. I haven't made it to the library recently, therefore I resorted to choosing a random novel off my bookshelf. I chose one called "The Secret Garden." I've read it before, years ago, during the 4th grade. My teacher [whom I completely admired] let me have it, and I remember reading it shortly thereafter. Today I barely remember anything about it aside from a young girl and a key. Well, it was an advanced novel for a 4th grader, including difficult vocabulary. I had a hard time following the story at that age, so decided I'd give it a chance and reread it today at the level I am now, if that makes any sense. :P That way I could enjoy the story in a different way. I was able to start it this week and plan on finishing it soon. :]


AnneHowever, that's not my point. I suppose thinking back to 4th grade revived some of my precious memories as to when we spent half the year learning in detail about World War II [which to this day still stands as my favorite topic to learn about]. If you have never heard of Miss Anne Frank, then you are missing out on one of the most touching stories to ever be heard. I first heard her story in elementary school, probably 4th grade, and it has been with me ever since. The impact of her story is unbelievable. As you should know, her precious diary was found after the war and today is the second most popular piece of non-fiction, second only to the Bible.

Her BookI tried to read her diary during 4th grade, but much like "The Secret Garden" which I mentioned earlier, it was different and even a bit difficult for me read. Having that extra time this week and remembering books and the like from 4th grade reminded me instantly of "The Diary of Anne Frank", that deep burgundy cover with her smiling picture on the cover. I intend to read her diary again by purchasing my own copy, and reading it in much more detail than those years ago. The thought touches me, and also reminds me of my own words. It was after learning about her in 4th grade that I started writing more than I had before. I had empty diaries which became filled with my ramblings, which have now progressed here at this blog. I think that not only is writing one of the most powerful forms of expression out there, it can be permanent. It can live on after you..

Near the start of this blog last night, I took a few hours of my empty evening to watch the movie of Anne Frank via YouTube which held the entire film. The first and last time I saw this movie was during 4th grade, when oddly enough amidst our learning of the topic her movie was shown on ABC, split into two nights. I watched the entire movie back then. I even cried and had nightmares after visually seeing her life played out. Watching it tonight was no different. I found tears rolling down my cheeks during the last part. It's one of those movies where you can't help but cry, and me being so attatched to the story only increases that as it just breaks my heart over again each time.

Hannah-Taylor GordonI guess what I want to say is how much I admire Anne Frank, who she was, and who she aspired to be. Her story is sure one that will be in my heart forever. In the movie, the actress whom plays Anne [portrayed to the left] starts with some of the most hopeful lines that watching it this second time stuck with me. She says: "I want to be a champion skater and a writer, my picture in all the magazines...I want to be different from all the other girls...I want to travel, study languages, and history. I want to do everything.."

Anne, her true self.Simply hearing these words right in the beginning is enough to make my eyes tear. Anne Frank was a girl with so many dreams and so many goals. She didn't want to blend in. She wanted to be known for who she was, not who everyone else was. This particularly inspires me because I've always wanted to have that same mind-set with life. I also found it so very ironic that a girl who had such a passion for history, is now herself permanately a huge part of history herself. She was so brave and can stand for what it means not to give up. In watching the movie, certain parts stood out where those around her would falter with negative thoughts, and Anne would reply saying things like "hope can't be lost." Plus, she'd always be dreaming of the things she couldn't wait to do once the war was over. On top of this I feel she sets a good example of not ever taking things for granted, which is something we all do everyday. While she was secretly hiding with her family, she'd speak of how hearing the church bells ring down the street made her smile, and staring out the small attic window to watch the birds reminded her that life still exists outside those four walls. I like those parts of her story as it acts as a reality check, in a way, of how precious simple things in life are and how grateful people should be for them.

The movie really does an excellent job at portraying Anne and her typical girlish thoughts. She didn't always get along with her parents, she was in a rush to look more like a woman, she dreamed what her first kiss would feel like. She wanted to experience all those things, yet her dreams were given no time to turn true..

The museum's candlesThe whole Holocaust itself sends shivers down my spine. I know horrible things happen everyday and have always been so in the past, but some hit me personally harder than others, this being one of them. We took a field trip to Washington DC in 4th grade and one of the places we visited was the Holocaust Museum. We saw the ever-burning candle, lit in memory of so many that were innocently killed. It was so sad to see then, and even more sad to remember now. It's upsetting how so many innocent people, like this beautiful young girl, my own age, suffered in a way that no human ever deserves. To imagine onself in such a position is utterly unbearable.

Anne, her true self.If this story can not become more sad, it does. By the time Americans reached the concentration camp at which Anne was located, she had died only two weeks before. She was soo close, so close, to making it. Only her father and some of her friends survived. The story of Anne Frank constantly arises "what if?" and "why?" questions in my mind. However that part of the past can't be changed now, but it really makes me think. I used to wonder to myself that if Anne Frank were alive today I'd go meet her, or if she had been my age now I'd be her best friend. I guess you can truly say she's inspired me beyond words and I admire who she was. I'm sure she'd be ecstatic to know how she's as famous as her favorite stars were that she had pictures of on her bedroom wall. I'm sure she'd be pleased to know how her words have touched the hearts of others.

Well, I guess that is all I have to write for now. I'm glad when certain topics arise like this that allow me to write a blog over, as opposed to my typical weekly chatter. :P Until next time, adios.




-Rest in Peace Anne Frank. Your story is tragically beautiful.

Sunday, October 07, 2007



Stick-It

Stick BugzHah, I like my blog title. :P I have a little story related to it actually. I was outside earlier, around when the sun was going down, just sitting on my swinging bench, when I look down at my feet and see this moving stick! I knew immediately it was one of those bugs that look like their surroundings. I'm not sure of the "true" name though. :P Anyway, it was really neat looking, and I could only remember ever seeing the leaf-looking ones before, and this one was a stick which made it even cooler to see. xD I then proceeded to let it climb onto my hand, but I screamed a little suddenly because it squirmed and it being so "stick-like" felt weird at the time, haha. It was fun to hold though and I went around carrying it to show everyone. :P I'm just that kind of girl where I like touching bugs I guess. ;)


Cheer for the team!Moving oooon. Sadly, it's been yet another week since my last entry. Since anybody's entry, for that matter. ;P I miss summertime when I had the chance to write every other day if I really wanted to. I wish I could help update the blog more often, but school and other things absorb my every moment. I had a nice week of school though, just filled with the typical heavy 11th-grade workload I suppose. :P I've been looking forward to Friday's most as it seems thats when I get to go out and do things the past few weeks since school began. :] I went to the home football game Friday night with my friends and we had a hilarious time doing outrageous things to keep us occupied. xD We wanted to "spice things up" so instead of walking around the entire night we tried sitting in the stands for a little, which held a new and exciting view, yet when that wore off we goofed around the rest of the time. Haha. :P


Lung Cancer AwarenessSaturday my school's National Honor Society was participating in an American Lung Association Walk which I attended with them. It started early in the morning though, so I didn't enjoy my usual sleeping in, but that worked out okay. xD The walk was held at my favorite park and the day was beautiful. I had to watch a refreshment stand with Steve which turned out to be a simple task and then do some other various things. I thought it was a very fun day nonetheless. =)

For some reason I seem to be summarizing my week vaguely without much detail, which is rare for me as I seem to be a wordy person in these things. :P Maybe I'm tired..eh, I don't know.

Yesterday I changed my web layout on Starry Bliss. I like the colors, very traditional for fall, and I tried to make it smaller. I really like that little website. I've had it for awhile. :] I used to want it to become really popular like the ones I "idolized", per say, but nowadays I like that it is so very petite and personal. I enjoy making&changing website layouts, as well as creating it to be and hold whatever I want it to have, and Starry Bliss lets me to do just that. :] If you want to see the layout and haven't yet, just click here. (:


CA$HI was watching Family Force 5's new Really Real Show right before I started to write this entry. It's the first one they made since the one I was in during the summer. =] The new one is funny [as they all are] and of course pictures baby Ca$h often. ;]

KitCATThanks commentors for the messages left on my last entry about the cat and such. =] Well, that little kitten is definately officially gone because we haven't seen it anywhere at all. The good news is that I may get a true kitten to keep as a pet! :] I'm pretty excited even just over the thought. I always always wanted to have a cat, but it could never happen for multiple reasons. Now after having that little stray hang around for a week it showed everyone I guess how it wouldn't be a problem anymore if we got our own cat to care for. :]

I have 29 unread email I need to go check out right now so I guess this is where I will end. x) Take care. =]


Radically Random...

Family Force 5 Really Real Show 18 - Check it out!