Brain Mush

I realized one thing this past week. There's nothing better in the world than a few standardized tests now and then. Let me please add first that they're only good if they really don't matter to my future whatsoever. I mean, it's a little challenge you get to make sure you're on your toes (and may I add it's amazing how sometimes things you thought you forgot come back to you) and you don't have a lot of classes during the course of your day which means very little homework or studying. Plus, there's a good probability that the margin of the classes you will have won't do much or anything at all. Well, that's how it rolls at Lakeland at least.

This week we were hit with the mathematics and reading part of the PSSA test that every teenager in the state of Pennsylvania dreads. I, however, like the PSSA for two reasons. In terms of the actual test, it provides a difficulty level of testing that's in between some random easy standardized test like the Terra Nova and some insanely difficult test like the SAT. The second reason why I like it is that you have those periods in between sections of the test where you're allowed to communicate with friends freely. Plus, when I finished a testing section while others were still brainstorming over what to put down, I just pulled out my Warcraft Archive book that I have been reading for a few months now and try to wrap up my adventure through Azeroth. I hate it, however, because you never know what to expect. One day your self-esteem might be high because you had little difficulty progressing through the storm of questions, but the next you'll feel somewhat angry at yourself because you didn't even know where to start answering an open-ended question. We already took the writing part and now the last newly added part, the science section, will be coming up in May. Isn't that great, though, that I'll be taking the SAT and PSSA around the same time? I think not.

Now that I think about it thanks to this blog post -- crap! The SAT is coming up in approximately exactly a month. Really, I feel a bit worried this early on in the game. I really have no experience for it. Our school, of course, makes us take courses on the SAT way before we even take the actual test so that we can get rusty and forgot every test-taking strategy. Most take the SAT their junior year. When did we have the prep classes? Sophomore year, of course. Kudos to the education board. You failed again. However, I can understand why they would place the class early for one reason -- if you were to take the SAT early in your junior year if we had the prep classes our junior year, then you wouldn't have covered all of the material to prepare you. In my eyes, however, there's more cons than pros.

I have been in a mood lately that has been eating at me. As in a creative mood. I have had a need lately to write. However, as soon as I start writing, I come up with some sort of excuse like: "Gah, my vocabulary isn't good enough for me to do this", or: "I don't know where this is going. I can't form my ideas clearly enough. I'm pretty sure my grammar is off. I'm done." And honestly, grammar does scare me, as well as vocabulary. I have a 400-word vocabulary book sitting next to me that whenever I'm bored I pick up and study a few words. To anybody who knows me in real life, I have been hammering out words like 'laconic' and 'impertinent' like crazy. The sad part is that the section of the book that I'm getting these words from are meant to be known by all ninth graders. And grammar -- I have a huge book on that too, but I'm too afraid to dive deep into it. I wanted to read it from start to finish, but I got bored after I read about the different types of verbs. I think whenever I write that I'm going to do so with a 'type-and-thesaurus-it' method. If I'm trying to look for a word, I'll pick a synonym that I now related to that word, find it, dictionary it to learn it, and then use it. Honestly, never thesaurus a word and just leave it. Learn it. Even though I'm writing for my own personal benefit, if you use the thesaurus a lot on a research paper, a teacher may ask, "So . . . what does 'nihilism' mean?" Yes, three-fourths of us would be screwed if we were in a case scenario like that.

I started a little writing project the other day. My motivation was to write a fictional account of my chemistry teacher's life. You know --mock him innocently. I'm willing to share the first chapter to the world. It's not perfect and I don't want it to be. It's just for me to ease up on my writing skills for the moment. Whether you know it or not, I'm working on a four-book fantasy series that I start planning out way back in elementary school -- indirectly. I can save that discussion, however, for another day. For now, I present to you:


The Life of Britchell Solvens
By Buddy Foote

Chapter I

"Who told you that you could play with chemistry equipment without the permission of an adult?"

"I believe nobody, madam. However, I believe that it is within your best interest to allow me to continue this experiment. If I do not add the sodium chloride in approximately a minute, I reassure you that you won’t have a school to teach in."

"Oh dear!" the husky teacher looked about the room and spotted a graduated cylinder filled with a purple concoction. "And what, may I ask, is that?"

"Your worst nightmare," Solvens assisted. Ignoring the teacher’s authoritarian commands, Solvens marched across the laboratory, swerving in and out of oddly placed lab tables, until he reached the site of his soon-to-be disaster area. He obtained a scoopula from a nearby drawer and began to add a set amount of sodium chloride from a jar to a beaker. The chubby teacher starred at him, admiring his craftsmanship at his natural art. Yet, she also hated him for how talented he was.

"You are aware that a suspension could result as a consequence of all of this!" the teacher yelled across the room. She was too fearful to approach the setting of Solvens. She valued her life too much to lose it from a child's fallacy. "I hate to tell you, Britchell, but you're no chemist! You're just a lousy brat of a--"

Solvens dropped the scoopula as he was pouring it into the beaker. He glared at the teacher, flames rolling across his pupils. His raven black, unkempt hair seemed to stick up higher on his head than usual. The teacher was stunned.

"May I counterattack?" Solvens began. "I believe that you're no teacher. I know individuals in high school who can do math better than you. My father, who is a plumber, can analyze pieces of literature better than you. And you're no scientist either! But why, Mrs. Dobbins, do you teach it? Why? Because you're forced to and you're envious of me."


"Envious of a fourth grader?" Mrs. Dobbins crackled. "Don't be so silly, child. You're just too smart for your own good."

"Excuse me for a moment," Solvens said. The former purple concoction that he had began to turn into a dark orange shade, and green fumes began to vaporize above the graduated cylinder. Solvens quickly poured in the sodium chloride from the beaker. A violent sound amplified the room, like giant pop rocks being added to a lake. Dobbins covered her ears while Solvens stood still, seeming almost unaffected by the explosive sound. Besides the audio, however, no other effect occurred -- or at least it seemed that way to Mrs. Dobbins initially. She looked across the room to note that Solvens expressed a puzzled face.

"Mr. Solvens!" Mrs. Dobbins started, "What did you do? I am sure that you interfered with the regular progression of the entire school through your ... your ... whatever that was!"

"I can't believe that the solution didn't produce a metal," Solvens sighed under his breath. He looked over at the furious Mrs. Dobbins. "I reassure you, Mrs. Dobbins, that kids will be ecstatic thinking that a thunderstorm may be brewing up over the horizon."

"To the office!" Mrs. Dobbins fused, "Now!"

Solvens, disappointed not at his troublemaking performance but rather at the failure of his experiment, put his head down and marched behind Mrs. Dobbins out of the room. 'The office' was never a good place, and from the rumors passed down by the students of yesteryear, it was stated that students who entered never returned. However, due to Solvens' genius mindset, he knew better than to trust a rumor. However, he didn't even know what to expect from his visit at the infamous office that day. One thing is certain though. Approximately twenty minutes later, the county was in a severe thunderstorm warning.



Have a good one!