Stop Getting Up For The Letdown

Hey, "stud muffin." Yeah. ;] That's right. My chem teacher said that today. It stuck in my head like melted cheese on white bread. A blog entry in these here parts is waaay overdue. ;] I'm not sure where this one's gonna go, so let's hope it's somewhere good. :]

I want some snow. I want some of that thick, flaky, white, powdery snow. The kind that falls all night long. Snow that piles up..1 foot, 2 feet. The kind where my school closes the night before. I'm ready for that beauty.

People fascinate me. The way people act, react, look, and hide things from the world. I've been extremely observative this year. People are so different but they try so hard to be the same. They try to be accepted. They like and dislike things about every person their eyes see. Conformity bothers me when it gets to a certain point. People change too rapidly sometimes. I noticed certain people recently who have changed so much I'll never know them again. And what about those people in your life you know "of", but you don't know "about"? I think about those people sometimes, and the thing is, they will never return the thought of me.

What happened to childhood? Someone remind me, remind me what it felt like to be that little girl, or that little boy. The innocent child, who always had their two parents together, who was adventurous, who went places, who looked at "big kids" as an age they could not even grasp. Christmas is coming. It's not the same. It hasn't been the same for a few years. It will never be the same for me again. Why? Why can't things like that remain the same? Because people change. Life develops. Excitement fades. Families fracture. Now, I look forward to the future.

The future holds so much. I want to make it there with a smile on my face. I want to have learned right from wrong. Christmas 2024. Picture it. I hope I have someone. Someone incredible. Someone worth forever. By then, I hope that the "excitement" returns. That the "fracture" is healed. I want proximity, not distance.

Then again, why say "someone incredible." Isn't that who everyone wants? I guess only the lucky win. I hope I'm lucky..

Beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder. People deemed beautiful by society aren't the happiest, not even close. They're lonely. Lonely because they intimidate the average. I heard this on a TV show this week. It made perfect sense. Opposites can attract, but so can the alike. Who cares about drastically changing your look any longer. It won't get you anywhere, and anyone not willing to notice you as you are isn't worth your time.

I smiled a lot this week. Some one or two can make me smile quite discreetly but it's only on a rare occasion. And maybe, just maybe, that's okay. I won't ask for much. But it's those little things that can sometimes brighten us up. New faces are fresh. Old faces are growing closer. It's nice to be noticed. Noticed for doing nothing spectacular. Noticed for just being there. I like thinking of moments after they happen. I like thinking that maybe I've passed through someone's mind. You pass through my mind a lot. I'm not looking for that specific acknowledgment some get on a daily basis. It wouldn't happen to me anyway. I have a friend or two, and y'know what, we're behind. Behind in a good way I'd say. Our day will come. And when it does, I know, I truly know, we'll be saying "it was worth the wait," because guess what, we all will. Enough said.

Before I conclude this thought-filled blog entry of things my mind wandered to share, I'd like to say that I think I might start adding a quote/lyric or two to my entries. I'm not sure why, but some I read in passing and think "wow, that line means something special." I figure since I enjoy English so much as a whole, and love writing/reading words with a growing passion, that leaving something "deep" at the beginning and/or end of my blog might be nice. Even if that's the only thing someone reads of my entry, and let's say it sinks in or makes them think for a moment, then I'd be pleased with that. This entry was certainly unique. I don't write so shady like this very often. Half of the things I said might come off as so disguised nobody will know what I mean; and that's just fine. I hadn't written much in a while anywhere, school or here, and it felt so nice to just think for a good hour and write all sorts of words that to me expressed so much. If there's something I like about reading those quotes, lyrics, or even someone else's words, it is that sometimes, if something is really good, you can find a deeper meaning behind the words on the page. Why make it easy? Same goes for any person, why give yourself away so easily. What people see on the outside shouldn't define you by no means. Wait for people who take the time to dig underneath the surface with all that they've got. ♥