Saturday, June 28, 2008



Colleges Look Here!

I've been practicing my admission essay for college. I'm not much of an essayist, but I'm quite pleased with the outcome of this scraped piece of work.

" You should accept me to your educational facility because I'm not racist, I'm not a Nazi, I'm not homophobic, I'm not a Republican, I'm not a communist, I'm not an evil dictator, I'm not a druggie, I'm not emo, I'm not drunk, I'm not a diabetic, I'm not lame, I'm not a transsexual cross dresser, I'm not a knot, I'm not a deviant, I'm not a pedophile, I'm not allergic to bee stings, I'm not pregnant, I'm not a jock, I'm not a hypocrite, I'm not Casper the Friendly Ghost, I'm not a motorcyclist, I'm not a blogger, I'm not a politician, I'm not dirty, I'm not cooperative in the classroom, I'm not passing elementary school, I'm not a gamer (as we all know that leads to violence), I'm not here right now so leave a message after the beep, I'm not attuned for Karazhan, I'm not a drinker of grapefruit beverages, I'm not the exorcist, I'm not an illegal alien, I'm not listening to Numa Numa, I'm not a sexist, I'm not tying knots in my shoelaces, I'm not repetitive, I'm not William Shakespeare, I'm not a writer, I'm not human, I'm not a woman, I'm not a troublemaker, I'm not talkative, I'm not contagious, I'm not a movie star, I'm not a band member of Weezer, and I'm definitely not doubting that you actually wasted all of your free time reading this pointless nonexistent college admission essay. Okay so accept me, fool. "

Thank you. If you actually read that, then you better seek medical assistance. Fast!

Have a good one.

1 comment:

Joey said...

dont forget to include "im not not going to forget to forget to not forget to not eat not babies.