Tramp

See that little guy to the left? Well, this guy is the reason why my brother and sister-in-law are disallowing my nephew from playing Runescape anymore. Even though one shouldn't play Runescape until at least the age of twelve, the actual material in the game is geared toward a young audience. Harmless, fun, and addicting. A good way to pass the time as well as learn the mechanics of an online gaming world. There must always be a game to introduce a genre, and this is my nephew's introduction to the MMORPG world. My nephew is six, almost seven, and he's about level 47 on the game with a pretty good total level – but he can't play because there's a tramp in the game (that guy to the left). My "smart" sibling and spouse immediately think, "Oh no! Our son is picking up prostitutes on the streets of Varrock! Whatever shall we do?" and with that thought they lay down the law. You can't play this game anymore. That's the worst thing you can ever say to a young kid.

Thanks to an invention known as the dictionary (thank you Samuel Johnson), we can be provided with the following definition of what a tramp is:

• One who travels aimlessly about on foot, doing odd jobs or begging for a living; a vagrant.
  
• A prostitute.
  

Wow! Did you know a single word could have more than one definition? That's critical news to me! And heck, there's even more definitions to the word tramp but we won't include those as it would this entry too excessive.

Jagex, the makers of Runescape, would never dare to put anything sexual into the game. They're too clean and squeaky to even consider that dirty option. Therefore, I'm 99.53% sure we can exclude the latter definition of 'A prostitute'. Let's look at the first definition. I don't see anything faulty with this one. Clearly one can see that the tramp in Runescape is poor due to the clothing he's wearing. Plus one can even smell his odor through the computer if one doesn't have seasonal allergies. He's not only poor (as that's too much of a general word), but one can see that he's probably homeless. And what do most homeless people do: live underneath exit ramps in cardboard boxes and wander around aimlessly on foot looking for food or begging for money. Woah! What just happened? Look at the first definition again:

• One who travels aimlessly about on foot, doing odd jobs or begging for a living; a vagrant.
  

Also, if you don't know what a vagrant is:

• A wanderer who has no established residence or visible means of support.
  

That's another term for a homeless person. By golly! We're getting somewhere here!

The life lesson we learned here today: don't assume things based on your limited knowledge! If I called your female dog a bitch, would you be offended? There's a ton of free dictionaries online as well as software such as WordWeb. Get it, fast, before all your brain cells die and you're crying on Johnson's grave wondering what a dictionary is.

Therefore, we can no longer assume that this NPC on Runescape is a prostitute, but rather just some homeless guy trying to make a living by begging for a few coins. My nephew plays other games, such as Guitar Hero III which is a T-rated game, but he can't play innocent lil' Runescape? 'Look at what ya did, ya bloody tramp! Ya ruined me nephew's gaming experience with the MMORPG genre. Ya should be ashamed of yeself!'

Have a good one.