The Return of the Pizza Boy

This ad contains words unsuitable to some children and middle-aged men and women of all shapes and sizes and some disturbing pictures that may be made in the mind, to women and children of all shapes and sizes. Just a warning. Oh yes, some green people may be offended in the sarcasism included in this ad.

I return after a long period of time without posting (due to my damn disease and my terrible addiction to Runescape) with a new entry to the series of famous books by Buddy Foote containing the worldwide popular game, "Where's the Pizza Boy?" Well, this isn't the actual book. The actual book is in production for the future and should be sold for $24.99 each. Spend an extra couple bucks to get the exclusive book with gold shiny cover and a picture of a nude pixeled woman on a Pizza Boy. Also, the exclusive book has a picture of Buddy Foote himself, on a Pizza Boy!

These pictures I am hosting to you on this horrible slumy blog is just a mere preview of the future book. The book will include these pictures and two more that you never saw before and never will! Well, until this wonderful book comes out that is. Go on the journey around the state of San Andreas with our photographer, Carl Johnson, and his friend, Willy Wonka, to find the dreaded horror that we call the Pizza Boy!

Before we provide the pictures, let us give you some interesting information on this species:

• The Pizza Boy weighs 50 tons, eating thirty boxes of pizza six times a day!
• The Pizza Boy cannot be destroyed in any way! Believe us, we tried!
• The Pizza Boy is indeed not a person but a ridable bike!
• The Pizza Boy is immortal!
• The Pizza Boy is the color red; a warning color for posionous!
• The Pizza Boy was once rumored to consume it's rider! This does not hold true today.
• The Pizza Boy was once thought to be Bigfoot in San Andreas. However, Bigfoot is not in San Andreas.
• The Pizza Boy can fly, but only if it's happy and high.
• The Pizza Boy reproduces once a month. However, their young one is just a cube and does not grow.
• There are only three Pizza Boys in the wild in San Andreas today, each loyal to their own island. They only come over once a month to reproduce with a mate.
• The Pizza Boy was once thought to be all men. It holds true that the Pizza Boy's are actually all females!
  
• The Pizza Boy is indeed the best creature to ever not live on this planet and will someday reproduce so much that hopefully their baby's will grow and they'll take over the world, devouring all human beings and being the ruler of all things small and furry! That's a fact!

I believe that is enough gay facts about the Pizza Boy. More facts will be covered in the exclusive version of the book. Oh yes, I forgot to mention that this book will not be sold in New Mexico and Pennsylvania. Those mayors are bastards to my staff! Damn you! Damn you all! Extra copies will be sold in Canada for no reason at all. Japan will also get a special copy with a picture of Mario and Peach driving a Pizza Boy together in sweet romantic love. Now onto the damn pictures that you're eagerly waiting for!

This is Willy Wonka's favorite picture out of the whole book. We don't know why. Maybe because he took this picture. That dumbass took a picture of the Pizza Boy at night in the desert so that the viewer is unable to see the damn creature! What kind of service is that! His damn pay check is losing twenty freaking dollars! Go back to working at your damn factory. Oh yes, you gave it all up to the little boy. I remember now...



I have to say that this is the viewer's favorite picture. Just the whole atmosphere of the sandstorm gives them a chill down their spine. Thank God it was stormin' out because Willy Wonka was running nude somewhere in this picture screaming, "There's peanut butter flakes coming from the sky!" We don't know either... The Pizza Boy didn't mind however. Remember, they're women; who make out with each other...



Carl, being how creative he is, came up with this picture.



Mysteriously, the sandstorm continued for hours. Pizza Boy's seem to like this kind of weather because they cannot be seen. Although, with the picture like the one above, CJ is the master catcher of these guys, on film that is.



Fort Carson. The sand is piling up. The Pizza Boy finds the chance to advance into the territory of mankind, showing that they will indeed invade us. Why do you think that weird messed up guy in the black trenchcoat is always walking around saying that they're coming. He's speaking of the Pizza Boy.



The Pizza Boy flew to this spot after our chase. He laughed at our pity because we can't climb up a cliff.



Willy Wonka yet again took this picture. And he's yet again a dumbass! He ran away from the Pizza Boy trying to take a picture besides running up closer to it. I should fire him...



I should kick Willy Wonka in the ass. He takes a picture of the beast behind a tree. When they take over, I'm sacrifing Willy Wonka to them. Maybe they'll spare me. They'll eat the fat ones first.



Another picture taken by Willy Wonka. Thankfully this one is half decent. This Pizza Boy is watching over the huge city of Los Santos.



This Pizza Boy is out in the open on the beach. But Willy Wonka is stupid and takes a picture so we can't see the damn thing.

We will try to exclude all pictures taken by Willy Wonka from the book, unless a micracle happens and he gets better at his job.

Are you already excited and horny over this book? That's disturbing. Go shut the hell up and go watch Pizza Boy porn. Darn you all!

Anyway, this book is coming out soon after we hire a printing press and a layout master and somebody to make an offical website for this book. We will not take blue people because the last time I hired a blue person, they ate my wife alive. Now I'm a depressed little person who's trying to sell you a book to take your money from a copyrighted video game. I hate my life...

Please consider buying!

• Only $24.99 for the normal version of the book and $32.04 for the exclusive version, containing Pizza Boy facts, a nude woman on a Pizza Boy, a golden shiny cover, and much, much more!
• The book will not be sold to New Mexico and Pennsylvania due to legal problems.
• Japan gets a special version of the book, just because they make us weird video games and we wouldn't be alive without them. Actually they tried to kill Americans...darn World War II...
• We will love you dearly if you buy this book!
• Exclusive book also contains an autograph and a picture of DrakeGTA trying to murder a Pizza Boy but he fails because they're immortal.

Good day!