Interview with Blogger #2

I seem to always have a sequel to something that I do. First I have "Find the Pizza Boy" with it's sequel and now my fake interviews with Blogger series. I am not mocking Blogger in any way with these interviews. Although read my first interview with Blogger otherwise this'll make no sense. My next interview will be with something other than Blogger for once. These random questions came from Blogger's own random questions. They're a genius to come up with these because they make you think of the logic behind the question. Enjoy!


Blogger: Well Mr. Foote, you have convinced us to come and interview you again so we’re here.

Foote: I would look at it as an interview but as a study on individual people to see if they drown underwater with their eyes open.

Blogger: Want us to pack up and leave now?

Foote: Hell no! I paid a fifty dollar bribe for you guys to come back. I have no other junk to put on my site so this is all I have. I don’t want to have to jymp you.

Blogger: Jymp?

Foote: Ringtoe?

Blogger: Whatever you say Buddy.

Foote: It’s strange how you always call me something different…

Random Question #1:
What was the stage name of your favorite actress before she was born?

Foote: First of all, I don’t even have a favorite actress. I hate ¾ of all of the Hollywood women out there anyway because they’re just plain stupid. Sure they’re attractive and everybody is looking up images of them on Google every second of a day, but they’re as smart as a rat. Scratch that, rats are smarter. They’re as smart as my dog because my dog won’t come into my house when I open the door, and my dog’s a woman too. I’d rather go after a smart college educated woman than a Hollywood slut. But I don’t even get the question you asked. How could I like somebody before they were born? Plus I wasn’t even on this world for that long to see a Hollywood actress even grow up. The closest one that I did see grow up were those twins from Full House.

Blogger: The Olsen twins, sire?

Foote: Do not interrupt me in my mindless rants about nothing, okay?

Blogger: Yes madam Foote.

Foote: Wow, you’re already getting me mad. Anyway, my answer would be Princess Peach.

Blogger: Why?

Foote: Well, she was never really born and she was in a television show once as an “actress”.

Blogger: You have fantasies of video game characters?

Foote: I never said that. Now move on before I quit and want my fifty dollars back as a rain check. We’re boring the audience.

Random Question #2:
Sponges and tongues are frequently misspelled. Is it because both are thirsty?

Foote: Well, they both need water but I don’t think they’re misspelled because they’re thirsty. That’s like saying I lost the remote controller and the telephone because my hands were itchy. I suck as comparisons. Anyhow no. Sponges and tongues are misspelled because ¾ of the United States of America is made up of Hollywood sluts that I liked before they were born and you know that Hollywood sluts are as smart as a sponge. Seriously, what they use they can’t spell. Catch me on that drift?

Blogger: Hollywood actresses use sponges and their tongues a lot?

Foote: Exactly.

Random Question #3:
Try writing your name with your other hand. Where was that person raised?

Foote: Let me find a piece of paper. Printed or signature? Wait…what!? Where was who raised with what hand now?

Blogger: You have to tell us that.

Foote: God, these are random questions. Well, I don’t have any paper or pencils on m…put that back in your coat pocket!…so I’m going to visualize the case scenario and imagine sloppy handwriting written with my left hand:

Buddy Foote

Foote: Now where is he from? Hmm… I believe he is from China.

Blogger: And why is that?

Foote: You never asked for an “and explain your answer” in the question! You said to write my name with my other hand and say where that person was raised.

Blogger: You only said where he was from. Not raised.

Foote: He was raised in Flordia, his father got eaten by a gator, his mother moved to Hollywood to become a slut, his brother died by falling off of his bed, his grandmother took him in at the age of 13, he became a gang banger two months later, shot his grandmother, got shipped in a U.S. postal box to San Francisco, was loaded into a cargo ship, and exported over to China where he lived with my 7th grade English teacher and raised a family of forty-nine. Happy?

Blogger: You’re a hippy.

Foote: …….

Random Question #4:
In the dream where you show up to school naked, why do you never go swimming?

Foote: I didn’t go swimming because my favorite egg wasn’t born yet.

Blogger: Will you please stop with that joke already?

Foote: Sure, whatever. I never did dream of going to school naked and my school doesn’t have a swimming poo…oh wait, that dream! Yes, the swimming pool was a puddle up on the football field during a game, correct? Yea, I wasn’t nude though. I was very well dressed in clothes. But remember, I don’t remember my dreams.

Random Question #5:
You get to ride the big roller coaster three times in a row. What will keep your dad from taking a bite out of your candy apple?

Foote: God, these questions are like from that old show on Nickelodeon called All That where they were seated on a stool in a dark room and a guy asked nonsense questions and they weren’t allowed to even answer because the guy answered for them.

Blogger: We don’t answer for you.

Foote: Right… Is it the Olsen twins? Does that ring a bell?

Blogger: We were helping you.

Foote: Anyway, back to the question. Now we must calculate a steady mathematical equation here based on the radius of a bowling ball and how many times DrakeGTA will get laid in a day. Add those together and divide by .23 and you should get the G-force of the rollercoaster which says how big it is. Now multiply the G-force by three. If the G-force is high, take your father on that ride three times. Hopefully he’ll be vomiting too badly to even think of biting into your candy apple. If the rollercoaster has a low G-force and you think “big” as being the ferry-go-round, then give your father six beers, wait twenty minutes, and go eat your candy apple. Case solved.

Random Question #6:
Do you believe that forks are evolved from spoons?

Foote: I am actually stumped a bit on this one. I think maybe spoons evolved from forks or if forks evolved from spoons, I don’t know. Forks can kill people a lot easier than spoons so I say yes, they did indeed evolve.

Blogger: That is it for today, Mr. Foote. Hope we did waste your time.

Foote: Yes you did. Now leave! I have Runescaping to do!